Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

In looking up Aliens vs. Predator Requiem in IMDB, I saw that the film was nominated for two awards: Best Fight, and Worst Excuse for a Horror Film. I vote for the latter.

The first five minutes claim more lives than the early Rambo films. The film is either too dark, where you can’t tell what the hell is going on, or too bright, where you can tell too much what’s going on. If I get to vote again, I’d go for the former.

This movie is in love with the severed arm and all kinds of gory effects. The usually charming aspect of Alien life, that of the young Alien bursting through the chest, having nurtured itself on whatever creature the facehugger planted a seed, is totally characterized, almost animated. Rough translation: really cheesy effects.

AVP followers are really into the alien vs. predator thing, which is almost its own franchise. I've certainly been fascinated ever since Ellen Ripley and Jones fought off the alien in that last scene. And, in a parallel universe, ever since Arnold Schwarzenegger's soldier battled the original Predator. The alien is perhaps the most complete biological organism ever constructed, at least by imagination. And the predator is the coolest hunter ever: invisibility with dreadlocks. Wow.

It’s almost an interesting story. A small Colorado town is the site of a Predator spaceship gone down, its pilot a victim to an Alien attack. Before another Predator from the home world can get there, lots of little Aliens have escaped. Oh – and one other really crazy addition to the story: the Alien taking over the Predator pilot has produced a hybrid alien. Which is capable of…well…I can’t imagine anything more formidable than an alien who bleeds acid, so this new hybrid doesn’t offer much more. There’s nothing new here.

And that pretty much sums up the picture. AVPR is DOA in this one, and this film is probably the requiem for the whole AvP series.

Thumb’s down.