Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

After viewing possibly the best film of 2008, I think I've just seen one of the worst: Starship Troopers 3. ST3 went straight to DVD on a $20 million budget. It boasts only one original player from Starship Troopers: Casper Van Dien, whose cheesy enthusiasm goes well with the gorgonzola we're served here. Unfortunately, it's not that gouda.

I just have one question: who writes this crap?! (Not my cheese jokes, the bloody script!) The special effects aren't too bad, actually; I think they got their money's worth there. Lousy acting from most parties, almost interesting but misdirected satire that doesn't approach the gem of the original, a real maze of a plot that doesn't lead to anywhere but silliness, and you have, yep, a bad movie.

We do get some Rico-isms. "You know what to do! Kill 'em all!" And Van Dien seems to believe his own advice.

Poor Jolene Blalock. I actually think she's getting better, but she's certainly dragged down by this crap. I had always wondered where Amanda Donohoe went to. I now know.

This movie is terribly sexist, a fact that's impossible to get past, in a miserable attempt to match the unisex shower scene in Starship Troopers. There is some humor in the film, some of which is planned, and much that is not.

Keep your own humor and miss this one.

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