AND THE OSCAR SHOULD'VE GONE TO...

Actually, I can’t really lead off that way. The only
person I think the Oscar ceremony left out was Martin
Scorsese. But I thought Clint Eastwood deserved to
win. Where’s that Barbra Streisand/Kate Hepburn tie
when you need it?

Here’s the article I used to do in Outtakes every
year….the Oscar report.

Best host: Wasn’t Chris Rock. I thought he had lousy
material, and when he had half-decent material, he
shouted it rather than delivering it. And his
spontaneous lines after a significant event fell flat.
He was so insulting to some of the actors that Sean
Penn felt he should apologize onstage to Jude Law.

Chris Rock’s Best Line: “Cate Blanchett was so
convincing as Katharine Hepburn, (that) Sidney Poitier
went to her house for dinner the other night.”
Best bit: Interviewing people coming out of the Magic
movie houses. Collectively, they would give the best
picture award to White Chicks.

Best host of the evening was Johnny Carson, deceased,
shown in a tribute to the former Oscar host. Funny
and classy. Both were lacking tonight.

Best speeches came from the actresses: Cate
Blanchett, in thanking Katharine Hepburn. Brits give
such great speeches, don’t they? If you get bored,
you can just focus on their diction. Hilary Swank:
“I’m just a girl from a trailer park…” who keeps
winning best actress awards.

Best fashion sense: All black. Almost every actress
had on a wonderfully simple, stylish black dress. A
notable exception: one of three of Beyonce’s dresses
was a shimmery, sequined, beautiful blue number.

Classy moment: Yo-Yo Ma playing his cello while the
academy showed those in the industry who passed away
in 2004.

Funny moments: The nominee for Best Live Short was
asleep when his name was called (and his face was on
camera). He didn’t win, fortunately.

Sweetest moment: Jamie Foxx said, “My daughter said
to me, just before I came up here, ‘If you don’t win,
Dad, you’re still good.’”

Most embarrassing moment: Emmy Rossum, 18-year-old
actress/soprano from Phantom of the Opera, tripped on
her long dress as she moved to the podium. But there
were many technical gaffes in this production, lots of
bump! noises off-screen, actors confused about
positioning, and miked voices that shouldn't have
been.

What the hell are they doing here award: Prince.
Glad to see his voice got lower. But get a real
tailor, not Tim Burton. Who were those three women in
the balcony? It took a long time to figure out they
were Sydney Lumet’s family. There were many music
people in the front row, and we wonder why. Why was
Drew Barrymore even on stage? Hopefully it’s her
family legacy, not "50 First Dates."

One actress left out of the whole process: Aretha
Robinson, who played Ray Charles’ mother early on in
the film. She wasn’t even nominated for her superb
performance. The reason printed was that there were
two other women in the film the studio wanted to
nominate. Guess you can’t have more than two good
actresses in a film.

To sum up, this Academy Awards had very few surprises.
Those of us who were pulling for Million Dollar Baby
(read its praises in our movie reviews) were rewarded.
The Aviator didn’t win the awards we thought it
might, although it did win for Best Cinematography,
Costume Design and Film Editing. Great dresses,
wonderful appearances by the acting elite. Movies
applauding movies. Even Marty Scorsese would agree
with that.