Fool's Gold

I fell asleep this afternoon, nodding off in my chair. When I awoke, I wondered why. After all, I got plenty of sleep last night. Then it hit me: I was watching Fool's Gold.

I think most reviewers get a kick out of writing scathing reviews. This one is just too easy, the target the size of a woolly mammoth. But, hey, I'm writing a review about this, so allow me to just list the bad things about this film, which may be too lofty a title for this piece of crap. After all, why take the energy to make complete sentences when you don't have to?

Why Things Went Wrong

1. Not a comedy. If you watch the trailer, Fool's Gold looks like just another romantic comedy, a laugh a minute while the guy gets the reluctant girl in the end. The latter may be true, but the writers forgot to write any comedy. There are a few funny moments, but most of those moments can be filed under "stupid." And the comic portions of the trailer are dramatic moments in the film, e.g., waiting for them to crash their seaplane.

2. The dialogue stinks. Ooh, let me show you.

Finn: We found something. I mean, we found something!
Tess: What if it's a body?
Finn: Well, he was a midget (showing her a small barrel), with very cheap relatives.

Ouch.

3. Having award-winning Donald Sutherland does not a movie make. I can't believe that he's terrible in this, but giving him a role that doesn't suit him (millionaire yacht owner who's very naive) and a fake British accent is a BAD choice.

4. Giving Donald Sutherland a fake British accent. Oops, covered that.

5. Putting together two miserable people who don't like their lives and hoping we'll enjoy their interaction. Uh, no.

That's enough. Here's the only good thing: Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson. They are beautiful people and usually likeable in their romantic comedies. The storyline and the unbelievably inadequate dialogue does them a disservice. I think they do have comedic abilities; it's just not evident here in this non-comedy.

If someone forces you to go with them to see Fool's Gold, insist on popcorn. It may keep you awake, at least for a little while. Then again, maybe sleep will be a better choice.

Thumb's down.