Speed Racer

My roommate on the base used to come off her night shift at 7 o’clock in the morning, walk in briskly to the shared lounge, turn on the T.V. while simultaneously tossing her jacket to any nearby couch, plop down and start watching Speed Racer cartoons. Every single morning.

I never watched them with her, never understood the allure, because I had to get to my day job. But I did find myself wondering why Speed Racer looked more Caucasian and less Japanese, and why he wore that “M” on his helmet when his initials were “SR?”

The character was originally known as Mach GoGoGo, and the English adaptation was “Speed Racer” and his image Anglicized for western audiences. As Wikipedia tells us, “The series is an early example of an anime becoming a successful franchise in the United States.”

The movie is a day-glo telling of a story where business tries to take over the sport of racing. The sets, especially the racetracks, are gorgeously painted, and the constant motion of subjects within the frame gives the movie movement where the plot does not. So, what you have in Speed Racer is style over substance. And while the style is cool, it doesn’t sustain interest without a good story.

There are some good lines by the villain, Roger Allam, an English actor I’ve never seen before. “That’s what racing is about. It has nothing to do with cars or drivers. All that matters is power. And the unassailable might of money.” This little speech told to Speed in the corporate bosom reminds one of Gordon Gekko from "Wall Street," where greed is good and you’d better get out of the way. We are very intimidated.

Perhaps in order to make up for the lack of story, there are a lot of colorful (literally) characters thrown at you, usually in stupid subplots that don’t go anywhere, and cool stunt cars that defy the borders of reality and animation. They’re all beautifully created red herrings, and don’t add to the story at all.

I expected more from a cast that boasts Emile Hirsch (right after a stunning portrayal in “Into the Wild”), Susan Sarandon, Cristina Ricci. Ricci, I fear, is watching her career go down the animated drain in this one. And the Wachowski Brothers…my God. They’ve done nothing worthy of the fanboy’s attention since The Matrix.

I don’t know where my friend from the Navy base is right now, but I can imagine she’s shaking her head at Speed Racer, mumbling something about, “Boy, it sure isn’t the same.”

Thumb’s down.