I Heart Huckabees

I usually give you some clues first before I tell you whether I liked the movie, suggest you see it, or just flat hated it. However, in this case, I'm going to flat-out tell you not to see I Heart Huckabees.

This is a train wreck that totally missed the tracks. An indie that should've stayed an indie. It will appeal only to a small segment of the movie-going audience (more like a DVD-watching audience), those people who love being confused by plot threads that never come together and a tremendous waste of prodigious talent.

It's even hard to summarize this mess. Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman are a husband-and-wife team who focus on nebbish Albert, played by Jason Schwartzman, therapists with a unique approach who try to convince him that his existential life is screwed up.

The characters themselves are kind of appealing. Jason has a little lost-boy quality who's way above his head in the let's-save-every-tree environment. Lily Tomlin is intriguing as a detective trying to observe behavior while drawing attention to herself with revealing dresses. And yada yada yada. However, the sum of all of these parts is boooooring. It's a confused mosaic that never successfully brings the parts together.

Huckabees is a thumb's down all the way.